Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Losing the baby race

Every three months or so I get an update email from the class co-chairs of my alma mater. I always find the letters ridiculous and even a little maddening. Ridiculous because the "class update" is really nothing more than a play-by-play from the lives of the two people that actually write the letter and the five friends they actually keep in touch with. Maddening because, other than the two people who write the letter, the only people who send in updates are the pretentious snobs who insist on signing "MD" at the end of their names. Come on folks, I saw you kiss the maintenance man after losing a horrible game of Beirut and throwing up on a flea-infested basement couch; don't "MD" me.

In any case, in an obvious response to the pathetic summer class letter that, I kid you not, included three measly updates, one of which was "XX is still the assistant innkeeper in Maine"--I'll tell you what, we'll assume you're still the assistant innkeeper. Don't send in another greenslip until you've been promoted to the coveted "innkeeper"--a good number of the 98% of our class who has remained silent for the past 10 years finally sent in legitimate updates. What was particularly disturbing, if not at all surprising, about this class letter was that the "recent wedding" announcements have been surpassed by the number of "recent births." The number of my fellow classmates who have 1, 2, or 3 children is growing exponentially. And, sadly, it's no longer the "I can't believe she got married so young and already has three kids" variety pregnancies. Instead it's the "aw, I sure wish I had a birth to announce this round, especially given the fact that my "due date" would have just passed last week." Humpf.

Unfortunately, though, the in-your-face pregnancy announcements were the least irritating part of the class letter this round. The worst part was when my dear friend and former roommate called to commiserate about how far behind everyone else we are. Nevermind that she doesn't have kids yet because they have chosen not to start yet, whereas I don't have kids because I a.) can't seem to get pregnant and b.) couldn't manage to hold on to the one we were finally able to achieve. But, yeah, thanks for the "we're losing the baby race" analogy. That's helpful.

Double humpf.

Anyhow...AF has scheduled her arrival December 19. (Although all signs seem to be pointing to her coming even earlier. Bitch.) I guess the good news is that I'll be able to drink all I want on Christmas. The bad news, though, is that I was really hoping to be pregnant by Christmas. In fact, I was really hoping to be far enough along at Christmas that we'd be able to tell everybody and be happy and cheery. That's clearly shot to hell...and while there isn't zero hope for this cycle, let's just say I'm already buying a bottle of my favorite wine for the day. But, the good news is that, to give me some semblance of control over this situation before Christmas, I've made an appointment with our RE for the 22nd. Hopefully that will take the edge off AF's arrival, which, again, I'm taking as a foregone conclusion. I'm really excited for Christmas this year. Really.

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