Thursday, February 15, 2007

There’s nothing like a transvaginal ultrasound at 7:30am to start your day…

So, I finished my first round of Clo*mid last night, and it looks like this cycle may indeed be the resounding flop we all knew it could be. Here’s why:

This is how this cycle was supposed to work:
1. Take Clo*mid CD5-CD9
2. Get an early morning scan/blood draw on CD10
3. See a few lively fully grown little follicles
4. Give myself HcG shot to trigger ovulation
5. IUI the next day
6. See what happens.

And, here’s how this cycle is actually working…
1. Take Clo*mid CD5-CD9
2. Randomly take an OPK test on CD10 and have it come back positive
3. Go in for my early morning scan and see at least one fully grown little follicle
4. Tell the Dr. about the + OPK
5. Dr. asks if we got it on yesterday (we did—for fun. That’ll teach us. Stupid Valentine’s Day.)
6. They don’t like to do IUI the day after s*ex
7. We have to wait an extra day for the IUI, which is less than ideal
8. Oh, and my endometrial lining is a pitiful 5.8mm. (They like to see 8mm.)


So, here’s an open letter to my RE, and all REs, really:

Dear Smug RE:

The next time you’re going to put an early ovulator on fertility medications, please give her much more guidance about when and how frequently she and hubby should get it on before the to-be-scheduled IUI. Otherwise, you risk wasting another entire month, which really defeats the purpose of going on the damn fertility drugs to begin with, don’t you think?

Also, please turn the heat up in the transvaginal ultrasound room. It's not as pleasant as you might think to be naked from the waist down in a freezing cold room just before having a freezing cold wand (which, as far as I could tell, had ice cubes attached to the tip) inserted in a very delicate area. Especially when it’s 14 degrees outside.



So, I’m now waiting for my doc’s office to call me back. I have no idea what they’ll say; whether we’ll go through the IUI this month or not. I have been obsessively googling “endometrial thickness at ovulation” this morning, and have found some sobering, if unsurprising statistics. I’ll spare you all of the particulars and will sum up:

-- The chances of getting pregnant when the endometrium is <6mm at the LH surge is just about zero.


So, for those of you keeping score at home:

-- 85% of couples will conceive after 1 year of unprotected intercourse. We’re in the unlucky 15%.
-- 15% of women on clo*mid will have a thin endometrial lining while on the drug. Jackpot #2! (Thin is considered anything less than 7.5-8mm. To recap, I am 5..8.)

So, of the 15% of women who are infertile who then go on to use Clo*mid, I’m in the 15% of women who have a thin endometrium. And, of the miniscule 15% of women who have a thin endometrium on Clo*mid, I’m in the even smaller percent of women who’s endometrium is so thin that I basically can’t possibly get pregnant.

With luck like this, it’s a wonder I’ve never been struck by lightning.

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