Saturday, March 10, 2007

Crabby infertile, aisle 4.

Last month, you may remember, my body started to trigger ovulation before my hcg shot. Nobody seemed particularly concerned, so it probably made no difference whatsoever. But, for kicks, I decided this month I wanted to see if the same thing was happening. So, I went to Wal*greens after work yesterday to buy some OPKs.

Well, I don’t know if anybody else has encountered this, but I guess they’ve started to hide OPKs behind lock and key. At one store in the city, they’re behind a locked glass wall, so you have to go get someone with a key to unlock it to get the damn things. Now, I realize that I shouldn’t really care, but I just really don’t like having to talk to someone to get anything pregnancy related from my local Wal*greens. I barely tell anyone outside of my closest and dearest friends that we’re ttc, so having to ask the 16-year-old punk behind the counter at the drug store for ovulation predictor kits is tantamount to saying, “I’m trying to get knocked up. And, since I’m clearly not quite as fertile as the pregnant 17 year old in cosmetics, I need some help.”

But, to make matters worse, the Wal*greens near my house has completely hidden the OPKs. They’re not behind lock and key. They’ve just been removed full stop from the shelves. In their stead is a sign that says, “Please ask for assistance.”

Awesome.

So, I go to the Pharmacy counter, figuring that that’s where they are, and ask the kid behind the counter. He has no idea what I’m talking about. And makes it quite clear that he has no interest in figuring it out. When he realizes I’m not going anywhere, he finally sighs…audibly…and says, “Well, I guess I could call a manager or something.”

Yes, please do.

So, the “manager,” who I can only assume is still in high school and is surly as hell, comes to the counter.

“What?”

Charming.

I proceed to tell her what I’m looking for, and that they seem to have disappeared from the shelves. She rolls her eyes, brings me over, asks me which ones I want, then disappears into the bowels of the Wal*greens. Down an elevator. And is gone for a good 10 minutes.

When she finally comes back up and hands them to me, I asked her why they’ve hidden them downstairs. “Because people are always stealing them.”

?!?!?

Come again? Okay, can someone explain to me where the black market for stolen OPKs is? I mean, this isn’t Su*dafed, people. You can’t get high off them.

And, who the hell is stealing them? Because the pregnancy tests are all still on the shelf. Are there marauding bands of infertile women trolling Wal*greens looking for OPKs to steal? (But leaving the pregnancy tests because, well, you know…what’s the point?)

So odd…

In other news, I had another scan/blooddraw yesterday morning. It went well. My lining looks downright good--a solid, plump 8.4mm. And, my estrogen was 600 something. I guess that's good, though I admit to not knowing what it's supposed to be at this point. And, I have one (possibly two) follicles that are nearly mature. So, I did one last Gon*al-F shot last night, I trigger tonight, and have IUI Sunday and Monday.

Fingers crossed that this works…and not just so I don’t have to endure the humiliation of relying on the surly, impatient Wal*greens staff next month!

6 comments:

Sarah said...

"because, well, you know…what’s the point?"
-hahaha!!!

good luck with this cycle. i hope you're done with OPK's for a long time, nine months at least!

theoneliner said...

good grief. as if we don't have enough to deal with. now the walgreens unknowing are unleashed onto us.
i wonder if they think they are PG tests...and those do get stolen a lot.

Tam said...

Hey there...New to blogland so just popping in to say Hi!

Good Luck with your IUI, hope this one works! Starting my second/third (depending how you look at it) one next month...

tipsymarie said...

I like the "marauding bands of infertile women". I imagined these ladies in darkly colored cloaks, faces half hidden, wearing black slippers lest they be heard . . .stealing OPK's.
Thanks for the laugh!

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Mands said...

Hi there! Came over from Tam.. The exact same thing happened to me this time - my LH surge started before my trigger. My doc said that it just means that I may have a girl if the IUI works. In my 2ww at the moment, and happy yo accompany you on yours!