Sunday, July 01, 2007

Stims watch, day 5

First of all, let me just say that, while I don’t think the sub-q shots are that bad, it’s not a great time of year to have a growing number of tiny bruises along your stomach. And, because I’m doing the gona1-f pen and the meno*pur, I have to do two a night right now. (Soon to be three a night when I start the Ganire1ex.) So, pretty soon I’m going to be out of spaces to jab myself. Stupid IF.

I went in to get my bloodwork done this morning and I guess my E2 wasn’t as high as they would like. It was 77.9 (and at this point they like to see 100-200), so they upped my meno*pur to 150iu. They left the gona1-f as-is. I don’t really know if that’s good, bad, or indifferent, but of course, I’ll bet you can guess where my mind went.

I have to go back in tomorrow for more blood and an u/s. Hopefully I’ve got a bunch of follies growing I the ‘ol ovaries.

It’s funny, I’ve been so obsessed with the ethical side of IVF, I never got around to getting worried about not producing enough eggs. I was always really worried about having too many embryos. How naive, right? But, now that we’re in the thick of it, I’m now officially scared of not creating enough eggs.

I may come late to the game, but I get there eventually.

In other news, it looks like I might be able to let go of that guy I told you about the other day. It’s great news for my team (and for my own mental health), but now I’m starting to feel horribly guilty for having to let someone go. I mean, it’s the right decision, but what a horrible thing to have to do to someone. Ugh. Sometimes I hate managing.

Right, so that’s the other thing--man am I ever crabby on these meds! I’m on the verge of tears all of the time. And I feel really vulnerable. I was supposed to go to my friend’s house yesterday for the day while our hubbies golfed together. I hadn’t heard from her about the time, so I was convinced she just didn’t want to hang out with me. (She’s my best friend from college. We lived together in college, studied abroad in France together, moved to DC together, moved up to New England together with our hubbies…if she wanted to avoid me, she’s been doing a pretty bad job for the past 14 years.) Anyhow, she wasn’t trying to avoid me. We were both just busy. But that my mind immediately went there tells you where my emotions are these days…and that’s not typical for me at all. I can usually pull my sh*t together better than that.

Anyhow, at this point I’m just really looking forward to moving forward. I never thought I’d be looking forward to retrieval, but I kind of feel like this stims process is kicking my butt a bit…

Thankfully, hubby has been letting me play with his fabulous new i*Phone, which provides a nice distraction! (I so want one of my own now...)

7 comments:

Reproductive Jeans said...

Ooo Im sorry the meds are making you crabby=( I have a feeling they will do the same to me...

Mmm that i-ph.one is so tempting....

Natalie said...

Is there any way you could mix the meds so you only have to do one shot a day? Just one a day is bad enough.

Sorry the E2 isn't as high as you'd like. And sorry you're now worrying about it.

Carrie said...

I'm sory you're feeling cranky. There is no end of things to worry about. hu?

And the i phone. I am so jealous. I haven't even seen one in the flesh (though I've watched the advert on apple of course) I don't even know when they are expected in the UK :-(

Sarah said...

your meds protocol sounds just like mine, what a pain. at least they're easy shots. made me wacky emotional too.

thank GAWD you're going to be able to cut that guy loose, much as it sucks to have to do it.

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

The meds make me crabby too. Hang in there.

I am so jealous of the i-phone!

Kate said...

You got an iPhone? So cool! Do you like it? I'll be thinking about you and hoping that all of the meds do their job.

Amy said...

Sticky, you are on my protocol! I too had some issues with E2 (as you know from visiting me!). But by adjusting your meds things should improve. You might want to ask about doing am/pm injections instead of both in pm. That's what they had me do. I've been on LOTS of meds (225 Gonal and 4 vials of Menopur) to get things going. But now we are getting there. Only 6 big follies for me, but I know you'll get more! Deep breaths and after the US you will feel a little better. Thinkin' of ya!