Friday, November 30, 2007

The world doesn't need another stirrup queen!

Last January, we got a call right after New Year’s that hubby’s sister and her husband were expecting. It was the first month they had started trying, and they had barely been married six months.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little jealous at how easy it was for them, but I knew how much she wanted to be a mom. She was ready to have lots of kids and be a stay at home mom. And this was happy news.

Then, just a few weeks later, we got the call that they had lost the baby. I think they were around 7-8 weeks, but the baby had stopped growing earlier. Because it happened naturally, she hadn’t had any u/s or b/w so doesn’t really know exactly when.

Like so many of us, I think she thought—or at least I thought—that they’d get pregnant again quickly. After all, she was young, they got pregnant quickly before, everything would be fine, right?

But, like so many of us, month after month has passed with nothing.

She went in for initial fertility testing a few months ago and found out that she has a hypoactive thyroid. Now’s she’s on medication and it seems to be worked out—she’s ovulating normally, and her hormones are now fine. But still nothing. And so she’s feeling like it’s time to get off the DIY roller coaster and do *something*.

Today she had an appointment with her RE to decide whether they would start cl*mid tomorrow, and she sent me an email saying while she was happy to do something new, she was really sad to think that this is what they were going to have to do to get pregnant. She had always pictured it just taking the two of them, after all.

My heart just broke for her. I really do know exactly how she is feeling—we all do, much as we wish we didn’t. She’s at that point where you have to make the awful decision: do I think this will happen naturally, or do I need to enter the unenviable world of fertility treatment? And it’s such a crappy and scary decision to have to make. It’s just so unfair.

Of course I hope for them that, if they do start cl*mid, that they’re among the lucky few who get pregnant right away. But my cynical side can’t help but fear for them that this might be a longer journey than they’re expecting right now.

Here’s hoping that cynicism is wrong…

6 comments:

Sarah said...

impossible not to be cynical after seeing the dark side, isn't it? i hope it's easier for them, but i think for me the place where they are now was the hardest part of all. at least she has you to share it with, that makes a world of difference.

Waiting Amy said...

Oh I hope it is quick for them. But indeed she will have a sympathetic ear from you I'm sure.

Hope you and the stickies are doing well!

Natalie said...

I hated those months when we were really hoping it would happen naturally and it would all be "just a fluke" and we wouldn't need to do any treatments. In some ways that's more stressful than treatments!

It's never fun to "welcome" another stirrup queen to the lonely world of infertility, especially when it's someone you care about.

E said...

Oh I hate to hear about a new member of this club. I only hope that things happen quickly for you. She's lucky to have you as a sister in law, though. Not just because you've been through this already, but because you seem to genuinely care about her and will be a great support.

E said...

...things happen quickly for HER, I meant to say.

CAM said...

You do feel for people when they hit that realization that they need help. It is that dream of beng in control that is over and you start to question everything. who knows, maybe the clomid will do the trick.
:)