Thursday, December 06, 2007

Aliens and a question for you

Have you ever thought about how similar being pregnant is to the movie Aliens? I mean, there is this…thing…growing inside of you. And one day it bursts out onto the scene.

How sci-fi?

I was thinking about this as I sat in a meeting today with the co-CEOs and one (or both) of the stickies was using the inside of my belly button as a punching bag. You could actually see my belly button jumping up and down and I thought that s/he might be trying to bust through. (And I kept chuckling to myself about it—I was quite certain they thought I’d lost my mind.) :-)

Speaking of aliens, I’m convinced the cousin of mine I told you about the other day has been abducted and replaced with some strange alien life force. One that has caused her to lose all sense of reality and common sense.

The latest is that she’s no longer dropping out of school. She has, however, been arrested for shoplifting and possession of pot.


And, when my mom asked my aunt what the hell was going on with her, my aunt replied, “she just got caught, all of her friends shoplift.”

Oh, so that makes it okaaayy.

On second thought, maybe it’s my aunt who’s been abducted and replaced by a pod person.

Oh, and she’s also transferred to an “independent” (read: drop-out prevention) school. Now, on the surface, I’m sure this seems like a good—hell, downright reasonable idea. But I’m not convinced. Here’s why: she was failing out not because she was struggling with the coursework but because she wasn’t going to class. And now she’s transferred to an independent public school that lets everyone work at his/her own pace and graduate on their time. Of course, most students who go there are balancing other things—like teenage parenthood or full-time jobs. My cousin has neither. In fact, she just quit her job, so she has even less responsibility than she did. So, I fail to see how putting fewer boundaries and expectations on her is going to help.

I realize I should just be happy she’s still moving towards getting a high school diploma. But I guess I’m not overly optimistic that this is the path that’s going to get it done. This girl has been screaming for boundaries for years—it’s really upsetting to watch, actually, because my aunt has repeatedly refused to give her any. So, I feel like, on some level, this school rebellion has more to do with seeking out help as she tries to seek her own limits and decide what’s she should and should not be doing. And my aunt just hasn’t stepped up to the plate to actually parent. And, I fear it’s going to continue to make the problem even worse. (Exhibit A: Her recent shoplifting. It’s a felony offense. And she’s already on probation from a ticket she got for underage drinking. It’s not me, right? The writing on the wall couldn’t be any clearer, right?!?)

But, enough psycho-babble for one day, huh?

In my final random thought of the day, I mentioned the other day that my sister-in-law is starting down the lonely road of fertility treatments. She and I talk a lot about it, and there’s something I’m really struggling with right now. Namely, do I introduce her to this blog? I have been thinking more and more lately about how she might appreciate having this kind of support network, and that she might appreciate reading about some of the things that I’ve struggled with.

But, here’s the dilemma: NOBODY in real life has (to my knowledge) ever read my blog. Hubby knows about it, but never reads it (doesn’t even know the url), and nobody else even knows it exists. So, telling her about it would really be putting myself out there in a way I never have before.

So, my question to you is, do people irl know about your blog? And, if so, how do you feel about them reading it? And, how much (if any) do you censor yourself because of it?


Waiting Amy said...

1. I recall the aliens feeling. It is weird but real.
2. My nephews are all sorts of messed up. And I think things were botched by some people. But yet, I hate to blame since I haven't all the details. Its still hard to watch.
3. I gave my URL to an IF friend IRL. But not any family. I think that's the tough part with your SIL, is that she is family. Then you have to consider if you mentioned her, or if she will keep the blog's existence to herself. Only you can know how much to trust.

Best of luck! Hope the aliens don't do any popping for awhile! And aliens ... be nice to your mama!

Nearlydawn said...

I have a few friends that read my blog, but only those I feel I can really tell anything to anyway.

My family has no idea about it.

Hubby knows the URL, but I don't think he visits.

Natalie said...

Too funny about your belly button!

Wow, that is messed up about your cousin and Aunt. It sure sounds like your aunt is setting her up for failure. And hello, shoplifting? I'd be freaking out if that were my kid. Not shrugging it off!

Friends know of my blog. Family does not... but that's because I don't really have that close a relationship with any of them.

Mands said...

My blog is public to all my friends and family. That is not always a good thing, because I do find myself censoring what I say at times. I did put the blog there so that people close to me would stop asking me stoopid questions, and to educate them a little on what's involved. That has been great.

serenity said...

As I sit here and feel Squishy moving and kicking, I am completely laughing at your description of your stickies using your bellybutton as a punching bag. LOL.

It has to be really hard to watch your aunt raise your cousin and not be able to step in. *sigh*

As for your SIL, I have told select people in my life about my blog. And generally, I do NOT censor my writing knowing that they read it. It's good and bad, but mostly good - because they can read and know where I'm at during any given day.

And frankly, if your SIL is going through fertility treatments, she'll really appreciate knowing that there's such a community.

A good compromise - maybe you can send her to the Stirrup Queens site? Tell her you've spent a lot of time reading other people's blogs so that you don't feel as alone? That might help her, at least - and then you don't have to tell her that you blog too. :)

E said...

Ugh, such a bummer about your SIL. I struggle with this same thing often, but not always with someone so close to me. When I hear of a friend or a friend of a friend who's dealing with IF my first thought is to tell them about cyclesista or Mel's site, but then I get a little selfish, and don't because I don't want to be found. So terrible, but there you have it. I guess your decision has to be based on how much you trust your SIL. Could she see your blog and not share it with anyone? I have shared mine with only 2 people, 1 friend and my IF cousin. I haven't censored myself, but only because I know these two people can handle whatever I've got to say.

Yay about the aliens! That probably made your meeting a little more fun. And hopefully your cousin will get her shit together, but it sounds like her mom needs to do so first. That's gotta be hard for you to watch.

chicklet said...

I've only opened my blog up to 3 or 4 friends IRL. Nobody else. It's good cuz it helps them understand, and for those suffering, it helps them feel less alone, which I like doing for people. However, scroll through to make sure you've never said anything she'd take the wrong way so if you ahve, you can at least prep her first (don't remove it, just prep her).

Becks said...

I started my blog so my family and friends could keep up to date with what was going on. I now regret this as I massively censor what I say and in fact I have not mentioned this cycle to anyone but my mum called the other day saying she had read I had gone through egg collection....d'oh, it's my fault I told them to read in the first place.

In fact that's why I have just moved to wordpress so I can at least password protect the posts I dont want anyone IRL to read...perhaps that's a way of getting round your issue?

Carrie said...

I'd be quite careful about letting your SIL in. I haven't told anyone about my blog but I have met someone through the blog. In effect I now know someone IRL that reads my blog. Even this can make things odd. I feel I should let her know (irl) before I post anything major. Like a good manners thing. Not awkward just makes it a little more difficult.

Jen said...

No one IRL knows about my personal blog. (We have a totally separate "family" blog that our families read). The Hubster knows I have a personal blog (I think), but doesn't know the URL. I think I would be conscious of the fact that people I personally knew were reading my thoughts and I would censor myself in a way I don't feel the need to do for my internet friends.

What about sending her some links to other IF blogs, or to the list of blogs on Stirrup Queens or Babes in Blogland?