Monday, January 07, 2008

Sobering reality

We went back to L&D this morning for a non-stress test and bp check. Everything went fine. My bp was normal--no more spikes--and the stickies looked good during the non-stress test. (Whatever that means--I think they just track the heartbeats during those, right? I wasn't quite clear what they were looking for.) So, I'm hopeful that things will be okay. But I'm taking it easy, just like the doctor ordered.

On the way into my appointment, though, hubby and I were reminded yet again of how cruel life can be.

The nurse came out to get us out of the waiting room and brought us over to the entrance to L&D. There was a young man--our age--standing there, looking really confused and out of it.

"Are you a dad?" the nurse asked?

"Um....well, I guess no," the man stammered.

The nurse was clearly looking at him for some explanation of why he was just hanging around the door, then. Finally she said, "well, who are you then?"

"We just lost our baby."

My heart absolutely broke for him. He didn't even know how to answer the "are you a dad" question. How could he know? What could he do?

The nurse obviously felt awful. I've never seen someone open a door so quickly in my life and she very kindly escorted him to wherever he needed to go. It must have just happened, because another nurse, who'd obviously been crying, came over to hug him.

I just wanted to tell him how sorry I was. And I wanted to hide my pregnant belly from his eyes to spare him any more unnecessary pain.

Why? That's all I want to know. Why does pain like that have to exist? Why do people have to wander around L&D--a place that is supposed to be filled with so much joy for so many people--and be filled with such emptiness and sorrow. You almost wish there was another place for this poor dad and his poor wife to go. Somewhere where he didn't have to see pregnant women and nurseries and new, celebrating families.

I don't know who he was. And I don't know who his wife is. But wherever they are, I wish them much peace.


serenity said...

So sad. :(

I'll never understand it either.

E said...

I'm glad to hear things are going well with you, but what a sad story. The poor thing.

anna said...

oh my awful. It does suck that there is pain like that in the world.
As for you, my dear, I'm glad you're feeling better and taking it easy. That's our job for the next 10 weeks so I'll take it seriously if you do!!!

Sarah said...

oh my gosh, that made me cry.

so glad things looked good with the stickies though. and the non-stress, they look at the heartbeats and how they respond to stress. they like the hb to go up a bit at times showing a healthy responsiveness to changes, like when you move. so ideally their lines stay in that "good" zone, but go up and down some, with flat periods when the babies are sleeping.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I just don't understand it! What a sad thing to witness. I have a friend who just had her son at 35 weeks because of a life threatening disease and every day I hope I don't get horrible news.

Tam said...

Very sad, reading your post made me wanna cry.

I am glad that everything is going well with the stickies.

Here's to a great 2008 for all of you!!

Anonymous said...

How sad. I am so glad that all is well with you though.

Ms. Planner said...

Oh this is such a sad story. My heart breaks for them. I wish them much peace, too.