Saturday, July 26, 2008

Worst. Sleep. Ever.

Sweet Potato: “Hey, Monkey Girl! Did you notice how smug mom and dad are getting about our sleeping? It’s like they just expect us to sleep from, say, 7:30 until 5:30am. I think it’s time to start training them to play with us in the middle of the night.”

Monkey Girl: *suck, suck, suck*

Sweet Potato: MOOONKEEEY GIIIIRRRL!

MG: Huh? Oh. What now, SP?

SP: Fine, you don’t have to help, but I’m waking mom and dad up Right. Now!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

MG: You know they’re already onto thus crying/fussing thing. You need to throw something else into the mix.

SP: Good point. Did I tell you? I learned this new trick that really freaks them out. I flip onto my stomach in the crib so that I’m face down in the sheets. Mom always picks me up. It’s great fun. Watch!

Flip.

WAAAAAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(Mom enters. Freaks out as predicted, and flips sweet potato.)

SP: See! Now, watch, I’m going to do it again.

MG: I’m bored with this game. Good night.

SP: WAAAAAAAAAAA!

Flip.

Freak out.

Repeat.

Flash forward to 2:00am

SP: okay, I’ve tortured them enough. I’m going to sleep.

MG: Great! My turn!

Flash forward to 3:45am.

MG: okay, now I’m tired.

SP: but now I’m HUNGRY! WAAAAAAAAA!

*************************
This reenactment has been brought to you by the Children Against Parental Sleep Council of America.

12 comments:

Caba said...

Oh my friend. I believe my twins had a very similary conversation. I spent many nights flipping over babies, until my DH finally just told me to stop.

Talk to your pedi, but mine said always put them on their back to sleep. But once they are capable of rolling over on their own, they are fine to sleep on their stomach.

Did that make me any less a wreck? Well, no, but after a few nights, I did get used to it.

Mine are 15 months, and I still check on them multiple times before going to bed at night ... hehe

onthecurb said...

Thanks, this was hilarious. I swear, they may be itty bitty twins, but they're in their room conspiring all the time to drive us absolutely bonkers.

My son has been and still is the belly flipper...insists on sleeping face down. My daughter sleeps on her back but turns her head and crams her face against anything she can find. I don't know why they both insist on the compromised airways.

E said...

I'm sorry for laughing (and I'm probably TOTALLY jinxing myself), but this was pretty funny! Not at the time, though...not at the time.

Caro said...

Is it bad that I laughed?

Ms. Planner said...

I'm sorry! But I can't help giggling at the way you told the story. Poor you. The twin tag team is so not fair.

Diana said...

haha! you made me smile :) don't you love it that other people smile at your expense?

anna said...

oh my gosh... my twins have been talking to your twins! I didn't sleep more than 2 hour stretches last night and feel like the babes' sleep has regressed in a huge way. Hope we get some more sleep tonight, my fellow tired twin mama!

Amy said...

My twin boys aren't rolling over yet, but I believe their conversation was similar last night, along the lines of:

We'll take shifts crying, so mom and dad don't get more than two consecutive hours of sleep. Then you go for the 3 a.m. "I'm awake and must eat. right. now." bit. I'll take the 4 a.m. "I'm bored come play with me" gambit. In the meantime, I'm going to flop around, fully swaddled, until my nose is firmly buried in the crib bumper.

Sleep regressions seem to be going around, like the flu. I feel your pain.

Mrs. Piggy said...

You scare me with your posts. I keep thinking things will get EASIEr as the twins age, but it doesnt appear so!!
I miss sleep.
Sounds like as soon as you get something established they change their ways.
Update soon, I love your blog!

Sarah said...

wow, they work fast! piper didn't start rolling over in her crib until like 8 months or so. i'm so late in catching up, hopefully you're getting more sleep now!

hopeful to hateful in 28 days said...

My daughter flips all night long too!!! She is so stubborn she flips as soon as I've flipped her back. Sometimes she waits until I've climbed into bed. Because I'm stubborn (and totally freaked by SIDS) I spend the night constantly flipping her back over!

I thought of you recently. Saw a product called sticky buns- a onesie with nonskid sticky buns on the butt. Supposedly to keep babies from slipping down in their swings, seats, etc.

Bee Cee said...

That was so funny...I bet they are really plotting too!