Friday, April 24, 2009

Five Years

Five years ago today, I married my soulmate.

I don't say that lightly--I'm not a sap. Hubby is the romantic, not me. I think we both realized that on our first dating anniversary. He designed a necklace and had a jewler make it for me. I got him three Guinness glasses as a joke because I used to tease him because of his (low) tolerance.


But, he is. He really puts up with me, no doubt more than anyone would tell him is prudent. And certainly a lot more than I deserve.

I've actually been struggling with that. We're both SO exhausted. In the past year, our jobs have gotten even more intense and challenging than they were. Hubby was promoted to COO of his organization, and I to the VP level (responsibility-wise). We work long, long hours.

To be sure, we both prioritize our kids above everything--I make it a priority to get home by 4:30 to be with them. But that means I regularly work until midnight to make up for it. And still go to bed behind.

So, we're exhausted. And, frankly, I'm not at my--ahem--best when I'm tired. To say the least. My fuse is shorter and my expectations higher. It's a bad combo.

But hubby puts up with me. He's so sweet. He brings me flowers and tucks me in. He makes me coffee in the morning and dinner at night. He takes care of me.

I'm not saying I don't pull my own weight. I do, and then some. Kid care, bill paying, house cleaning and laundry, etc. But, frankly, the things that he does and that he prioritizes are the ones that take care of me.

Of course, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for doing a load of laundry, but...

...ack! You see how ungrateful I am! Argh...

Anyhow, I'm digressing. The point is, hubby is sweet despite tiredness. I'm grouchy. Boo.

So, I'm struggling. I feel like on some level we've entered a stage in our marriage where our marriage is more about chores and kids than it is about us. And to ignore the impact that has on our relationship would be foolish. Not that we ever were doing it in cabs or anything, but it' less. And, frankly, I can't say that I mind. (See above: exhaustion, grouchiness, chores.)

But, I guess the reason I know I married my soulmate is that, despite all of this--all of the chores and exhaustion and grouchiness--I can't imagine going through any of it with anyone else.

Have you ever seen the movie "High Fidelity?" There's a scene where John Cusack's (I heart him!) girlfriend decides very unromantically and matter-of-factly at her father's funeral to get back together with John Cusack. When he asks why, she says, "because I'm too tired to be with anyone else."

I remember when I first saw that, I thought: WHAT?! Seriously, because you're too tired? Terrible idea.

She goes on to say, "I know it's not very romantic. But there will be more romance in the future. For now, I just want to go home."

That's the deal. I know I married my match becuase, when the chips are down, I just want to be with him. Nobody else.

So, while this isn't going to be the anniversary for us where we gaze longingly at each other across a table just before making wild passionate love to each other, it is the anniversary where I know, without a doubt, I am in love with the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

I love you, sweetie. Here's to a sleep-in past 6am.


Life in Eden said...

Happy Anniversary!

Your marriage will go up and down, not just because of kids. As an upcoming 15 year vet (10 w/o kids), I can tell you it is so. What matters most is that you are soul mates.

I'm not sure if I will ever be rested again. Hoping it's not so for you!

Leslie said...

I'm in the same place as you. We celebrated our 5 year anniversary LAST Friday and have twin girls who will be one in July. And I'm tired. But I love my husband so much I can't even express it. I can't imagine my world without him. He has been my one since I was 19 years old. So thanks for your post - I always enjoy reading what you have to say.

K @ ourboxofrain said...

Happy anniversary!

I think all marriages have their ebbs and flows (or, I hope they do -- mine does). You're very fortunate to have found your soul mate.

I hope you got some sleep!

anna said...

I hear ya yet again, sista friend! Our five year anniversary is this July. And our marriage is looking strikingly similar to yours...eek! I also struggle with being ungrateful and quite difficult when I'm tired, which seems to be all the time these days. Anyhow, at least the difficulties of this past year have made it clear that we're with the right guy for us! Happy Anniversary!

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Happy Anniversary! Hope it turned out better than ours - sick baby and sick mommy. I totally forgot that we shared the same anniversary...