Monday, July 06, 2009

Il y en a une

I have to admit that I had a breakdown this weekend. It's not that I was rooting against one of the stickcicles. On the contrary, I wanted to give them both a safe and toasty home for nine months (ish).

But, when I saw my last hcg numbers and when it started to dawn on me that we might have two sets of twins in two years...well, I freaked. I wasn't sure how the hell I would even handle that. I mean, seriously. Like, how the hell would that work?

Then I felt bad for thinking that way. I mean, didn't I want both Stickcicles to nestle in?

To say my emotions were all over the place would be an understatement.

Which is why when we saw one gestational sac on the u/s today, I was definitely conflicted. I mean, on the one hand, I felt, in some sense, relieved. On the other...well, you get it.

In any case, we did see a gestational sac where it should be (the uterus). I couldn't see a yolk sac, and actually left thinking that there was none, so have been pretty nervous about that all day. But, when my favorite nurse called later in the day, she explained that Smirky did actually see a yolk sac, albeit a small one (2mm).

I've tried Google-ing all day to see if that was normal, but can't find anything specific on how big yolk sacs should be. So, I'm just left feeling...okay.

All in all, I suppose we're in a good place. We are pregnant. Things seem to be progressing "normally." Whatever that means at this point. I guess I feel a little nervous again because I left feeling a little tenuous (because I was worried about the yolk sac), and now I'm having a hard time shaking that feeling. It's silly, I get. But what can you do. I'll just need to distract myself until the next u/s--the BIG one, where there must be a heartbeat--in two weeks.

TWO WEEKS!

Ugh.

Here's hoping our little stickcicle hangs on and grows, grows, grows! Come on, l'il buddy!

14 comments:

Donna said...

According to this link, you are right on trac with yolk sac size!

Life in Eden said...

Breathe! Breathe! Sounds like everything is right on track. And your emotions are completely normal. If I had any possibility of another set of twins at this point I would be very nervous!

E said...

Yet another 2ww. UGH! But it sounds like all is fab in Stickyville, and I'm so happy for you!

Rachel said...

I'm glad you've got a sticky hanging on in there. I don't think that any of the measurements of sac size are particularly accurate this early (not only are they tiny, but it depends which angle they measure it at and the surrounding tissue) so I would really try not to worry about the measurement.

Leah said...

Sounds good. I understand the fear and wondering, but I am happy and hopeful for you! It will be a loooong 2 weeks, and I can't wait to hear the great news.

Michele said...

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Sending prayers for good news.

just me, dawn said...

congratulations!! and praying for a great heartbeat in two weeks!

Sarah said...

these early days are so brutal and terrifying, anything that crosses your mind is completely understandable. i'll be rooting for the stickcicle and anxiously awaiting the next scan. hope it flies by!!

Tam said...

Grow little guy, grow!! I totally get the conflicting feelings and it can't be easy besides you have these pregnancy hormones going on too!!

Wishing you and your little stickcicle all the best. Hugs xxx

Belly Laughs said...

Fingers crossed for more good news!!! Hang in there!!

Barefoot said...

Congratulations! Hoping for lots of good news at your next appointment.

anna said...

Don't you remember how we saw one yolk sac on the first scan and then 2 heartbeats?! So, you can never tell! I'm so glad that a sticksicle's hangin in there! My ultrasound is on Thursday, and I feel like ass...how about you?

Sarah said...

how is the countdown to the next appt going?

Donna said...

Can we have an update?