Saturday, September 18, 2010

A happy ending

The ice cream truck doesn't frequent our neighborhood. When I was little, I seem to remember seeing the ice cream man frequently. In this neighborhood, I think I've seen him three times in total.

The first time was more than three years ago. I was about a week from starting stims for my first IVF and I was a mess of emotions. Conflicted, dejected, confused. The works. But that day, as I was feeling sorry for myself, hubby heard that horrid, canned music that only an ice cream truck can produce. (Why, exactly, is that music SO awful?) As soon as he heard it, he ran outside and bought us both ice cream. And it was so cute and made me happy.

Today, for only the second time in the five years we've lived here, we got ice cream from the ice cream truck. But today, hubby and I didn't eat any. Instead, I sat on the curb, my new son cradled, sleeping, in a baby bjorn and my beloved stickies absolutely enamored with the idea of getting ice cream. From a TRUCK! With RAINBOW sprinkles!

So, I just sat there and cried, my heart absolutely bursting with gratitude and love.

Throughout my journey with IF, I felt very sorry for myself quite frequently. Looking back, it feels so silly. So many people have been through so much worse. and in hindsight, the time we spent going through IF seems so insignificant compared with the joy I've felt since. I'll never know or understand why some people have things so easy, why others struggle, and why still others have to go through more pain and heartache than I can possibly imagine. But, those aren't questions I spend time contemplating anymore. Not like I used to. And for that, I'm so grateful.

Instead, I'm closing the door on this chapter of my life. In fact, as part of my c-section, I had my tubes tied. Can you imagine? Permanent birth control? Seems silly, really, since we couldn't conceive on our own for anything. But, frankly, I wanted the finality. I don't ever want to wonder "am I??" ever again. I don't want to pee on a stick. I don't want to wonder about late periods or symptoms. We have three beautiful children. Three years ago, as we ate our ice cream together, I never could have imagined that we'd be this lucky. And now it's time to move on.

I will likely not come back to this space. This is a catalog of a journey that has ended. Happily. Thank you for following me and supporting me. I can only hope that I've been able to support someone else as I've been supported here.

And, to anyone who stumbles upon this blog or who has followed my journey with me, I wish you much happiness and love.

13 comments:

Michele said...

I'm happy for your happy ending. Nothing but goodness on the rest of your journey.

Meghan said...

I love this story. Good luck on the rest of your journey and may they all have such sweet happy endings

Sarah said...

YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

and thanks for sharing it with me. i just LOVE happy endings!

eemilla said...

What a lovely final post coupled with a wonderful family photo. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Peace and blessings to you and your family!

Nearlydawn said...

So long, and thanks for all the fish. :)

Glad to see your happy ending, but sad you'll be leaving us. Good luck in everything for you and yours.

Anonymous said...

I've thoroughly enjoyed following your journey and to reiterate the others - I am so happy you got your happy ending. Many continued blessings to you and your family. Although I do hope you change your mind and decide to continue with the blog. It is nice to continue reading after happily ever after :)

-carlasue

Caro said...

Yay! for a happy ending.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Glad you had a happy ending! Your children are beautiful and I wish you all the best as your new journey begins.

Ms. Planner said...

I don't even know where to begin. Although I am sad to see your blog (and your lovely intellect and emotion instilled in it) go away from this space...I can understand why. I am so grateful to have shared this journey with you. And to have formed a friendship with you. Many continued blessings to you and the Sticky family. xoxo, Ms. Planner, Cowboy and Missy

Suzanne said...

Thank you so much for sharing. I've been reading for years while on my own journey. This site is the only one I read, actually. Congratulations on your beautiful family.

lmc said...

Thank you for sharing - I travelled your journey with you over the past several years and found comfort in your blog as I was going through my own IF. All the best to you and your family as you move forward together in a happy, healthy life.

Life in Eden said...

You were my first blogging friend -- the first to reach out to me, send me email. It meant a lot. I'm so thrilled that your journey had such a happy ending. YAY! Best wishes for all that lies ahead.

Gold On Runescape said...

Thank you for sharing - I travelled your journey with you over the past several years and found comfort in your blog as I was going through my own IF. All the best to you and your family as you move forward together in a happy, healthy life.
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