Sunday, June 20, 2010

Cliche

Today is Father's Day, which of course means that empty-headed celebrities get paraded out with their kids to talk about how becoming a parent has changed their lives.

I don't mean to be flip here, but is that not the least interesting thing to say about parenting? Yes, having kids changes your life. So does not having kids, by the way. And, as those of us who've been through IF know, not having kids actually changes the course of your life even more than having kids does.

Sure, my life is different today than it was before March 2008--before the stickies were born. But what if I hadn't been lucky enough to have them? Well, that would have changed my life--my aspirations and dreams and vision of the future--so much more. I would have had to rethink and envision a new reality for myself that took me down different paths and towards different destinations.

And, let's face it, for many celebrities, having kids doesn't actually change your day-to-day life much at all. They've got nannies and night nurses and all kinds of help to ensure that they don't miss a day at the gym or a tour or a movie premier or god-knows-what-else.

So, today, too all of the men whose lives have been changed--either because of the birth of a child or because the cards they've been dealt have forced them to envision a new path for themselves--I wish you all the best. It's your day.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

179

That's the number of my sister-in-law's beta from her first IVF. She has one son a little younger than the stickies that she conceived with Clomid--she actually got very lucky on her first clomid-IUI for that cycle--and she's been through four IUIs trying for another baby. And, well, we all know how that goes...

I can't tell you how nervous I was for her waiting to hear the news about today's beta. I really revisited all of those feelings leading up to the beta from our first IVF. It's been a long time since I revisited those raw "oh-my-god-will-this-EVER-work" feelings. And, let me tell you, it made me appreciate all the more how lucky we are and how lucky we've been since that fateful first IVF beta.

She doesn't go in for her next beta for a whole week, and then has to wait two more for her first ultrasound, so she's got a while until she gets more "data." With a beta like 179, she's in the "are there 1 or 2" gray zone. Of course, in the end she just wants a healthy and uneventful pregnancy followed by an uneventful birth. But I know she's really also hoping for twins. She never thought she wanted twins, but when you transfer two good embryos, it's hard not to get attached to both.

Keep your fingers crossed for her. I'm really hoping that she gets nothing but great news from here on out...

In other news, things here are going well. I'm in denial over the fact that I'm 29 weeks. 29 weeks?!? What? It's all very strange. But, things have been uneventful, which has been great. And, because it's a singleton, I feel like I rarely go to the doctor or get ultrasounds, so there hasn't been much to update. I'm growing more and more terrified of having three kids under three, but it's a good kind of terror. More exhilaration than fear, really. Mostly, though, I just feel lucky. (Oh, and f'ing HUGE. I've put on more weight than I care to admit and it's definitely bringing me down a bit, particularly since it's the summer and impossible to hide.)

Also, I'm actually planning to switch Obs. I really want to VBAC with this baby and think there is a better hospital and better ob/gyn practice. I met with one of the doctors there and just really love him. (Ironically, he's the doctor I went to for my first miscarriage back in 2006. I really liked him then, but didn't go back because I was spending so much time with REs. Then, when I got pregnant with twins, my RE--whom I LOVE--strongly recommended working with a practice that delivered at this one particular hospital where the perinatologist was second to none. So, that's how I ended up where I am now.

So, that's the news chez Sticky...not that I make any assumptions that there's anyone reading at this point, since I've been so silent (and sporadic) for so long! If you are still checking, thank you. I wish I've been better about blogging. I guess I just never really found my post-IF voice and often find myself at a loss! (Bitter and cynical suits me better as a blogger, I think. Is that awful? :-)